Another great fourth!!!

Well I got to spend another great holiday with Vs family and I must say that I am very glad to get the opportunity. Where they live in NE Arkansas reminds me so much of Mountain View and Eureka springs, both towns I really enjoy. We shot fireworks, ate lots of meat and shot lots of lead at piles if rocks; it was a great weekend.

It's so odd to me how when we first meet up again V seems a bit uneasy or uncomfortable around me. I'm so excited to see her but she seems to be distant when I show up; I guess it's the time spent apart. We had lots of good talks about marriage and the future and such but didn't really get anywhere. I feel like she's the one for me because she is a constant challenge and because she makes me want to be a better person spiritually, physically and mentally. However, I'm not sure she shares my sentiments. I suppose that's okay because relationships are about experiences and such but I wish that we would get closer to a relationship status as we date and not further apart. Oh well, we'll see what's next.

I got really sad on the way home today. Twice actually. Once when I first left Vs house because I during the summer I never really know the next time I'm going to see her and because I felt like although we had good times and good talks, our relationship didn't really progress like I was hoping. But the second sadness is one I haven't felt in a while. It was the sadness of not being in college anymore. I miss the intelletual challenge and setting. I miss choosing between multiple fun social events with different circles of friends. I miss excitement of big football games, walking everywhere and planning parties in 30 minutes. I know we have to grow up and all, but why do things have to change so much? It makes me sad.

P.s. I hate this town today. I worked in the yard all evening and the whole time dogs were barking, guys were driving by with their music blaring and one idiot behind me decided to rev his motorcycle up and drive around at 930. I'm ready for a change.