Performance Eval

Good evening everyone! I hope that the world is treating you well. I'm doing pretty well myself. I just bought a new used car and really like it. The gas mileage I miss from my old car, but I am adjusting...some. It is nice to have a car I can spend a little money on every now and then and know it isn't being spent to keep it running. Also on a good note: I have been spending as much time as possible with the students at SAU. They are a really good group of kids and have such a diversity amongst them. I love to talk to them about their tests, homework, dating issues, church issues, just whatever. It's nice to share words of experience with them.

On another good note: I am going snowboarding next week for three days in Boulder. Chels, V and one of Chels' friends is going. Should be a great time; I just hope I'm not too fat and lazy to have a good time. I have GOT to find a way to start working out again. Any ideas? I really miss swimming and basketball. Oh well, no use sulking about it; I've been down this road before.

Onto the negative part now. If you like the cheery stuff, quit reading here. Otherwise, drudge on.

Performance reviews came out at work today and I got a 3 out of 5. Pretty decent, I suppose, but I was hoping for at least a 4. I worked really hard this year to catch up on all the time I lost when I was out on medical and I think I really hit the floor running (literally). I had some huge responsibilities on high exposure projects, stayed late almost every day, finished my masters degree and went to every local school event I could. However, all that was not enough to get me a 4. I was a 4 last year and didn't do half as much. It's just really frustrating because I got the MSOM degree so I could get bumped up to level 2 (2 year experience or a masters degree in related field). I just don't know what else to do. My manager told me some people are still upset about some issues from the past (which I still can't seem to get figured out what I did wrong) and that I need to get some good high level exposure. I need to get caught doing good. Since we had a new guy come on board, I have been trying to be the motivation on the team and the driving force behind changes, so I don't know how I can get much better. My morale is falling fast while the expectations for me are climbing. What can I do? I really hope all of corporate America isn't like this. I am not sure what I ever did wrong, but apparently that one thing that happened many months ago is drowning out all the good stuff I have accomplished. Why? I work my tail off, catch issues before they are issues, take the appropriate actions when I need to do so (even if that means I get in trouble), listen to operators, work with the team and help them any chance I can, but yet I am just an average employee. Perhaps if I had an excellent employee to look at for guidance...

I am not giving up, but man I'm really sad. I just don't know what else I can do to prove I am a good worker, regardless of my opinions. I stand up against the unethical things we do and so I suppose I deserve my punishment. Whatever. I feel better for typing this up, but that didn't help me to find a way to get better at my job. If it involves not asking questions or expecting this place to always play the second fiddle, forget it.

A wise man once told me that you should be the poorest, dumbest and ugliest guy in your area, that way you know what to do to improve. Unfortunately, I'm none of those right now (although working on them quickly).

I'm going snowboarding soon. It will be okay when I am standing in the snow next to my love doing what I love and driving my awesome new ride.