It's too much. I can't handle it. I stayed in the ME building yesterday until 6, ate dinner and watched a movie until 11. I woke up at 6:30 to take a test that will make more of an impact in my life than the tests I take in my classes and yet was easier. It lasted 8 hours. The only good thing that came from it was realizing I chose the wrong major. I've been lying to myself about knowing anything about engineering. Yeah I like cars, yeah I can do econ and make smart decisions, but I honestly don't know jack. I have successfully crammed my way through college; I flush it at the end of every class. I got to the ME part of the test today and I skipped those, the econ ones were really the only ones I 100% got. ECON! A business class. Oh yeah, I also had a super fine proctor.
Decisions are fun. It's amazing how I spend all this time pondering what to do in some situations and then in the end, it's all for naught. Things happen or they don't. I have been hanging out a lot with Kelly Jackson lately. It's exciting to get to know new people and especially new girls. Not sure where this is going to go, but I'm along for the ride and trying my hardest not to hurt anyone in the process. I've got such an amazing girlfriend, but my inquisitive nature always keeps me looking. It doesn't mean she's doing anything wrong, far from it, it's just a part of me. I don't know if it's right, if it's wrong or if it's normal. I can't even really say I'm looking for someone else to be girlfriend. We'll see.
How's this for a friend, girlfriend, person: driving 30 minutes at 1am to get me a calculator and while she's at it, picking up some donuts and drinks for my test this morning? What would Jesus do?
Things could be worse...
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7 comments:
I'd say your girlfriend is amazing, don't blow it now on someone you think you might like. Don't be the "new" you for once. Be the old you, the person I used to know. The cool Blair, the smart Blair, the friendly Blair, the Blair everyone misses.
Sounds to me like you need to have some time just with the Lord. If you're this confused you owe it to your ex-girlfriend and yourself to not be with anyone right now, and put them through this confusion. This is not a part of "who you are", this is part of temptation and overcoming it. You really need to think about your actions and how they affect other people, and once you've grown, then the Lord will show you what you need to do.
Wow, with friends like that, who needs enemies. Blair go and do what you've got to do. If the new girl turns out to be nothing special, then maybe V will find it in her heart to forgive you and take you back, if you want back with her. It's better for you to go out on a limb and do something than to always wonder "what if". Good luck bro, I feel your pain. I'll shoot a few prayers up for you.
I hope Vanessa never reads this post. If I was her I would be utterly crushed. She doesn't deserve to be hurt that way. She's doing everything in her power and then beyond to make sure you're happy. How good do you think that would make her feel to know that your thinking about someone else? It would make her feel unappreciated and unloved. She's amazing and would do anything for you. I hope you realize that. Is it really worth it to throw everything away on a "what if" just cause you think KJ is a cool girl, which she is, and prolly you like her boobs I'm guessing cause I know you? Don't waste what God has blessed you with, Vanessa. The first comment on this post hits the nail on the head.
K
Sounds like the first post on this entry is as much of a jerk towards women as I assume you to be.
I meant fourth, not first. typo.
I know who posted #4 and I'd like to know who you think you are to call me a jerk towards women and even more to call my friend a jerk towards women.
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