catching up

12-26-06
Well I saw “Night at the Museum” today with everyone. It was funny in parts, but not as funny as I thought it would be. It was a bit slow to start too. I then went to Big Pop’s where I got some money and one of those pillows that has the speaker built in to allow you to lay on it and listen to your iPod. I liked it, but it was royal purple. PURPLE! I might give it as a gift. Who knows? Speaking of gifts, I tried twice to return one today and both were failures. I was trying to get rid of a UT comforter. It’s nice and all and I like it, but it’s too big and I don’t need it right now as much as I need the money. I NEED me some money. It’s weird how even when I have money, I don’t like to spend it on myself, only on other people. Okay that’s not totally true, I like to buy food. That’s really it. It’s why at the end of the day I’m broke with nothing to show for it. Sad.

I’m not ready to leave here. We’re going home tomorrow because Cory’s girl is coming to town, Chelsea has basketball practice and I’ve got an appointment on the 28th with a dumb hand doctor who will tell me there is nothing he can do but give me more lotion or shoot me in my hand. Losers, those doctors.

Well that’s really it. I did experience some joy today when my grandpa told me about his younger days of being in the Korean War. He did communications. I asked him if he knew Morse Code and he grinned from ear to ear and said “yeah I do. I was in school for 18 months to learn that.” Good times talking to old people. I also swung by Krystal’s and got some amazing little burger. YUM! I finally completed all my Christmas shopping too, although I’m looking for a nice metal briefcase for my laptop still. Oh well.


12-25-06
Well I’m in the big D. It’s nice to be back here where it’s dry and flat and windy. I’ve missed the smell of this place, the people and my grandma. The movies here are really cheap and I’ve been to see “The Holiday” and “Eragon”. Both were surprisingly good. I liked the second one for it’s story and the first for it’s effects and cinematics. It was a well spent six dollars. I also watched the movie “Click” last night with Adam Sandler and I’m not ashamed to say I cried. It was a bit crude at times, but the story was really good and I saw the love of my own parents at times in the movie. It was really good for being an Adam Sandler movie.

It’s been a good Christmas. For the first time I’m not expecting things as much as I’m just enjoying seeing family and being with them. I won’t lie that I want to just set my mom straight from time to time about certain things, but all in all it’s good stuff. I did mention I miss my friends, my other family, but it’s great being with my dad and arguing with my mom and watching my sister admire me out of the corner of her eye and seeing Cory all grown up.

Speaking of Megan, I don’t know what we are now. We’re dating still but we’re not exclusive. I feel like a total hoe for doing that, but I really love her for who she is, but I can’t handle her being away all the time. I barely made it through last semester, I was so depressed, and I can’t do that again. I don’t want to totally break things off with her; she’s so great. I also don’t want to be “left” here while she’s out traveling the world and not missing me nearly as much as I miss her. I just don’t know. I’ve broken up with two great girls because of distance and I hate it. I just can’t handle it without someone around to constantly reassure me of how good I am and hold me when I have a bad day. Back to Megan. She just can’t seem to figure out how to do those things from a distance, but maybe I’m just too harsh on her. I don’t know. I am going to date around if I find anyone who seems nice, but I feel bad because I feel like I’ll just be dating that person until Meg gets back. She’s worth waiting on, but I’m not strong enough. I can’t do it. I’m too selfish and jealous and suspicious and insecure. I am so strong on the outside, but inside I’m in a corner balled up and shivering.