In the words of Kara...blah

So today started so good. I jumped the wall into my car, without ripping my super tight suit pants. I then picked up Steven, who was ready and waiting, another plus. Next we drove to Daylight Donuts, donuts are my weakness you see. I bought a dozen donut holes and all they had otherwise were some glazed donuts. So I asked if I could get some choco covered ones. The nice lady said she could make me some by dipping my glazed ones. She did that and I even got two with sprinkles. Things were going great. I showed up late to church and since I was 3 minutes late, there were no seats left with the RFCs. There never are unless you get there like 10 minutes before church. So I sat with this nice elderly couple. They were really nice and I felt bad because I can not remember their names. I even repeated it like 5 times and still no. Well church went okay, but after about 15 minutes I quit wanting to be there. I don't know why exactly, but I just don't care about going much anymore. I see most of the people I want to see out of church, so why should I go? The only people I know at that church are at Tuesday night devotional. Why do I go to church? Oh yeah, to hear a lesson. To hear someone else's interpretation of the Bible or an interpretation at all outside of Scott's.

I don't know why this stuff bothers me still. I honestly don't care that much, but then it's obvious I do care somewhat. So now my attitude is ruined for the day. And you know what is the worst? I don't care! I don't care if I piss off some people today or hurt some feelings today or tell people just how stupid they are. I cut off people driving today, I thought mean thoughts about some people in Harps and I don't care. Maybe this is the real Blair. Maybe deep down inside I'm not nice, I'm not generous, I'm surely not confident, I couldn't be polite, chivalry is dead, maybe I might just be imperfect. Or maybe I have shots of good in me, just shots. They're quick and last a little bit, but at the end of the night I've just got a head ache and a killer hangover. I don't know. I know that people not capable of being leaders or getting out and knowing people should not go on overseas mission trips. I know that doctors shouldn't get paid until I'm healthy again. I mean if I were to work someday and tell my boss to "try" this and see what happens, then I'd be fired when 100 people die. I would not pass go I would not collect 200 bucks. But I can go into a doctor, be told to try something, pay him and then go back in later to try something else and pay him again. Man that's the life.

I think I'm going to make out with some hott college babes over Spring Break. I think I might just whore it up for a bit. See what happens. Why not? I mean everyone else is doing it, why not me. I mean we use that game plan all the time. What's so wrong with doing what everyone else is doing. We all seem to do that in church.

You know what? This blog post probably doesn't make a bit of sense and I probably don't have any claims to anything I wrote. I don't care. I write the first things that come to mind. Hey guy who wants to move into an apartment by yourself because of other people doing things to bother you, this next little bit is for you: if you live your life just letting people do things you don't like then you're going to live a long, lame life. If, on the other hand, you can take note of those things they do and make sure you're not doing them to others and then, with oh so much love, tell that person what you don't like, you might just enjoy things. Live a little bit. People are out there who love you and care about you and although they might eat your special foods or drink your special drinks, don't let it eat you alive. I can tell you all about that and it's not fun at all. Let love in.

I'm sorry for hating you right now. I hate you so much because I love you still even when I know I shouldn't. I have so many reasons to love you and I can't seem to find the strength to admit that love is more than what I thought it was. Love is friendship, love is romance, love is sacrifice. Sacrifice like continuing to put your heart out there no matter how much it hurts. Like continuing to hold on despite the horrible things. I love you and I love you and I especially love you. I don't quite love you yet, but I'm learning. I don't hate you like you think I do. Thanks for reading, thanks for stopping by and thanks for laughing at my inability to tell you I'm going somewhere without giving away where exactly I'm going. I'm smiling now, thanks for that too.

Hey Seabass, you looked stunning today.