Christmas break

Well I can walk, with a brace, straightlegged. Woohoo. Tomorrow I might get to start walking with my leg bent. That's exciting. More exciting is that I am going to see V in just a few days. Great! I will have to skip therapy for a week, but I will be doing some home exercises, so it should be all good. I was supposed to start back work the 11th, but the doctor thinks February would be better. I feel bad for missing so much, but I guess if I can and it's coming down to my own personal health, I can do it. Whatever the doc says....

My sister and I have been hanging out a lot. She had some games this week and did really well. She had a double double yesterday and did well today too. Anywho, on to the reason I am posting. So my sister has a boyfriend (or friend as she says) that seems pretty worthless. I don't witness much of anything so I can't say with 100% certainty he is a jerk, but based on what I am hearing about him, she needs to lose him. He never comes to watch her play basketball, he's extremely possessive, etc. I talked to her about it today and told her I gave her a hard time about him because I wanted a good guy for her and she got mad and now won't talk to me. She needs to understand that people on the outside looking in can see many things that she is jaded to. Hopefully once she goes to college she'll find a better guy. If she goes to Tech, Cory will make sure of it. He doesn't like the guy either. We'll see; it is her life so I will let her make the mistakes.

Christmas went well. I got an iPod touch which is great to traveling and browsing the web. It's a good backup for my full size iPod; I think I will only put the music I really like on the touch, instead of using it as a mobile music library. I also got a bag for my xbox (I bought) and a game or two. Mom always makes these goodie boxes which are full of a smorgusborg of stuff ranging from shampoo to poptarts to razors. It's one of my favorite gifts. I also got a nice new George Foreman grill, which I really needed. Good times. I am really blessed beyond what I deserve. I will get V's gifts next week and hers are always great, so I am looking forward to that too. I could actually afford gifts for everyone this year and planned ahead to have all the stuff in before my surgery. Everyone seemed to like their stuff, which is good.

Okay, time to watch some more NCAA bowls and play xbox. Life is hard. =)

Day 11, time to start over

Well I didn't make it. I ended up going about three days without a soda (that I can remember) before I broke down and drank some more. I had surgery a week ago to repair my PCL and that was a trip. The surgery was supposed to last 1 hour but took closer to three or so. All I remember was waking up in pain and telling them to increase the meds. Then I hear a nurse saying "we can't use that anymore, he's maxed out. Let's try XXXX." I rode home, in and out of sleep and then woke up at home on the couch. V showed up shortly after and was a great comfort. She took care of me until she left on Tuesday. =( I am still sad. She slept in Cory's room and every morning I would crutch into the room and snuggle up next to her. She is so cute in the mornings.

So my leg is straight and in a brace that keeps it that way. I can "walk" on it about as much as a zombie "walks". It will hold weight without pain but generally hurts after I get off of it again. I take showers every two days and get to take the wrap off. My knee looks like it was crushed. It is black, blue, brown, purple and yellow. I have a few slits in it with sterile strips on them. I can't take those off, even though they itch and such. Overall, it's not too bad. I am really getting antsy (?) because I can't bend my knee.

Enough about the knee. I finished my class with an A. With seven of my ten classes finished, I have a...hold your breath....wait for it...4.0GPA!!! I am taking next semester off, but seriously thinking about finishing up before I go back to Faytown. If I save my butt off (even more than I already do) I could afford to pay for the classes. The question is, do I want to do them and pay for it when I could possibly take them for free when I go back? Hm...a dilemma indeed.

V and I are doing good. I bought the biggest Christmas present ever this year; I got her some 5/8ct diamond earrings. I think she liked them, but I am not 100% sure. She's hard to read, you know? I also got her the new Harry Potter movie and my mom, being the awesome gift giver she is, gave her some other goodies. She is going shopping for my presents this weekend, but really I would rather her put that money in her gas tank and come see me again. That would be GREAT!!! It's weird, when we're together we get along great. We argue very little and have a great time. When we're apart, we become different people or something. We both become insecure or something and pick each other apart.

Okay, well I am off to hook up the xbox to the surround sound and do some gaming. Since class ended, I am out of things I have to do. I need to start reading, but geez...I just don't like to read. A character flaw...indeed.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

Day 1

Well today I decided something: I am going to cut down on my sodas and cut them out. I am giving myself today and tomorrow to make the soda bottle I have go as far as possible. What could motivate me, you ask? Well I have surgery this Friday and I would like to be able to go through with it without the risk of high blood pressure. Plus now when I drink sodas my throat gets all sore and stuff. I plan on continuing to drink my coffee but I will probably dwindle that down once my creamer runs out.

Oh yes, I didn't mention my surgery. I am getting my knee worked on again this Friday. This surgery is to repair the PCL and some other break. I am not sure on the details and have yet to reach my doctor...frustrating. I figure I will be down for about a week and probably recuperating for about three weeks. I will miss one and a half weeks of work, which is fine because I am exhausted from work. I worked all weekend, which was crazy. By Sunday I was beat and didn't get much accomplished. So is the working life...

The Christmas party was good this year. The food was nice, but the music was funk, which I am not a big dancer of. I hung out with a good IE friend of mine and a good LSS guy. I enjoyed their company, as well as their wives. I really enjoy hanging out with Gee, my IE friend. He's in his 30s and has two kids and he is a super nice guy. My table was really like the nice people table. Down at the end was this couple that invites me to hang with their young singles group all the time, then Gee and his wife and my LSS friend.

Did I mention I worked this past weekend? Everyday at 5am I was driving into the parking lot.

Classes are almost over. I will try to take my third test this Thursday and then my final next week. This semester has been tough with all the work I have been doing. I am putting in around 60hr average a week, so thank goodness I am only in one class. However, I am disciplined and I have been watching the class videos, which takes some serious time. oh well, I'm three classes away from a masters degree (which I may never get). =(

Now for the real meat: the love life. I am still mad crazy over V and she still is as feisty as ever. I surprised her two weeks ago and showed up on a Sunday night, only to run my mouth and ruin the whole moment. I didn't learn and I turned around and did it again last night. It's not an excuse but I had a long, hard weekend and I guess I just wanted to pick a fight. Now we're not talking until her finals are over, if she'll even talk to me then. The fight last night was because I wanted to spend more time with her over Christmas vacation. She already committed to a lot of time, but me being the selfish guy I am, I wanted more. Now I get a lot of time to myself. =( Oh well, I am going to try to take this time to reflect upon myself and my relationship with V. I love her, but sometimes I am selfish and I need to get over that and grow up. It's a hard lesson to learn, but hopefully I will get it before I lose her.

Time for class!!! Have a great evening and if I don't see you again, have a wonderful morning, noon and night tomorrow.

Woohoo

I'm not going to lie; I pretty much despise life right now. I am working a ton at a job I don't enjoy all that much in a town that now ranks in the top five worst towns I have ever been to. I'm sorry for all the negativity, but I am working my butt off at work and all I keep getting is more trouble. If it's not a rule violation, it is someone wanting me to do something that someone else jacked up. If it isn't something that someone else jacked up, it was something I did wrong because I didn't read the minds of everyone involved.

I gave a speech today for my team at work and had information given to me an hour before I got up there. Luckily I did improv speeches in high school and took a communications class at my Div 1, state-run University...with dorms, three cafeterias, a football team AND an actual town that supports it.

I have lived a pretty blessed life and I am still blessed daily with a job, a roof over my head and the money to do things. Right now, however, I just really need a hug.

Sleepless nights

This week has been wild. I was told Monday that we would be going to 12 hour days and probably working all weekend. So far, it's been true. I worked 10 hours today and I am supposed to be up five hours to work 10 more hours. Fun times! I am super busy at work with a new project that I am sorta heading up. The work is a challenge at times, but mostly mundane.

Took my first test in my OMGT class tonight. Wasn't too bad really, only took me about an hour or so to finish up. On to the next one...

Well I just wanted to post to try to convince my mind to go to sleep. My body has been real weird this week; I feel like my stomach is always empty and stuff and my metabolism has been going high lately. Right now my mind is racing, but my eyes and body are tired. I need a good solid 10 hours of sleep right now...how nice.

One man show

This week has been wild! I came in late on Monday at 9:15 and it was great! I drove in from Little Rock and it was a nice drive. The sun wasn't shining, but it was light outside and I felt pretty decent compared with Sunday (I was sick again). Since then I have been crazy busy. Work is 90 miles per hour with my new project up and running and a ton of stuff to do. I will probably stay late tomorrow and I am working Friday for the first time in a while. As soon as I get off work on Friday, I am driving to Bryant again to go with the girl to Cord, Arkansas.

I don't normally write in unless I haven't done so in a while or I have some thoughts that have been plaguing me. As you can guess, it's the latter today. Work went really well today. I have more stuff to do than I could get done in a month and I am pretty well in charge of some projects. They're pretty boring stuff on the whole, but a bit of a challenge. At one point today, I caught myself thinking "I kinda like this stuff". I am not sure where that thought came from, but I got me convinced that I want to put off school until next Spring (2011). Therein lies my problem. I can't decide what I want to do. Work is tough and most of it I dislike, but then there are days like today that I enjoy pretty well. Like I told someone the other day, I like my job, I just hate all the other stuff with it. And I still believe that to some extent. I make good money and some of the stuff I do, I enjoy. There are just a lot of things I don't care for.

So the question I pose to you and to myself is this: Should I start school this fall (2010) or wait until the Spring of 2011 or keep doing these online classes until I get a degree and then decide? Financially, it would benefit me to work as long as possible. The longer I work, the more money I can save up and the more classes work will pay for. I get more experience and I pay off more of my house. Emotionally, I think going somewhere else would be better. Driving to work at 5:40 every morning kills me and taking a two lane road into work everyday annoys the fire out of me. Camden is Camden (there's a reason I go out of town every weekend). I'm just afraid of never being happy. I pray about it and I think God put me here to know I need to appreciate what I have, but I wonder if that has to happen once I leave. I am happy to have a job, but feel there is more out there than this.

Ugh, as you can tell, I am very confused. If God has a plan for me, He's being very clever about how he presents it.

Time to drive 40 minutes to church to teach my class to two people.

Peace....

I finished my semester with two As. Moving on.

These past couple of days have been amazing. First, on the 21st, I left work early and headed to Dickson, Tennessee. I picked up Vanessa on the way and we headed off. We had some amazing Mexican food and some Dairy Queen that night. Thursday we got up early and headed to Bowling Green, Kentucky. We stopped to grab some lunch and low and behold, had a chance to eat at both White Castle AND Krystal. We picked up the number one at both places and had a taste test. I am proud to announce that Krystal is slightly better than White Castle, but if you have to choose between WC and some other joint, pick WC. The burgers are almost identical, the WC fries are crinkle fries and the drinks are the same.



We then headed to the Corvette museum. We watched the intro movie and started into the museum for about 10 minutes until we headed to the GM plant to see Corvettes being made. That tour was the most amazing thing ever. It was so cool to see a Corvette start as a frame and end up driving 75mph on a test rack. They track the car from the beginning to the end, since some models of the car have different frame materials. It was state of the art stuff and always moving. I couldn't believe the difference from what we see at work. They have park benches right next to the assembly line where they take their breaks, among some other things that I won't go into. I think V really enjoyed the tour and we both learned a lot. It was sooo cool. Just thinking about it right now makes me all giddy inside. We headed back to the museum and went through all the remaining cars. I was disappointed they didn't have an C6.Rs there, but we did see some super nice ZR1s. As we were walking out, some new owners drove their new car out of the museum. It was beautiful grey and had an exhaust note that sent chills down my spine.



We left there and headed downtown to eat at the Mellow Mushroom. Good pizza, but nothing special. We then headed to my Uncle Charlie's house in Brentwood, Tennessee. He gave us directions on the phone and told me to turn on Granite Light road. On the way there, we passed a road called Granny White and I told V I bet that was the Granite light he was talking about. Well it turns out he did say Granny White and we ended up driving for another four miles before we turned around and headed back.

The next morning we went on a trip with my Uncle and his friend Wayne. We headed to Hickman county to revisit my uncle's past (he's 80) and find a guy who made his own bread. We drove all over the place on dirt roads in Wayne's little Accord looking for this bread maker before we finally decided to stop and eat at the Tarkington Store (my relatives). The owner gave us directions and we drove right to it without ever hitting a dirt road. The guy was a real hippy dude and let us watch him make bread and cook it. He runs a one man operation and his bread was amazing. I bought two loaves and took one to Ryan's family.

We had dinner that night (Friday) at Ryan's house in NE Nashville. Her family was super nice and treated us like royalty. We went to the movies that night and saw Couples Retreat. It was really funny and I found a lot of the movie to relate to V and I. We all enjoyed it and headed home. We spent a few hours Saturday searching for a dress for Ryan and the rest of the day watching college football. I went geocaching for a few minutes and found four in Tennessee (I had found one outside of the Corvette Museum in Kentucky too).

We headed home this morning and I am sick again. I woke up a few times in a deep sweat and this morning with a killer headache. Every time I sneeze or cough my brain hurts. I have taken decongestants and allergy medicines with no luck. I'm going in late to work tomorrow to see if I can't sleep this away. I doubt it, but I am tired and don't want to drive to Camden yet.

My brain is oozing out of my ears

College is way different when you are working and doing it. It was actually pretty tough when I was there, but being there is soooo much better than where I am now. These online classes, as easy as they are, are killing me. I have a paper or a test every week and the papers are sooo hard to get motivated for since I care very little about management. I am writing a paper now that is supposed to be a proposal to a local service provider about how to increase profits. I'm typing it on a local "gym". I put that in quotes because the place is a joke. The gym here in the hotel is better than that one and we've only got four machines here.

Okay enough negativity. Houston is rocking my socks off. Obviously I am not truly experiencing the town since I don't commute in, but what I am experiencing is AWESOME. I've seen Z06s, M3s, Supras, and on and on. Plus the office is really nice and professional. Free snacks, drinks, etc for the class and the building is a nice six story glass officeplace. Love it! Traffic is annoying at times, but the chaos is predictable and I only drive about 2 miles to training. Oh yeah, I'm here for training. It's going really well. Our teacher seems real smart and she's young and trendy, which is a nice change. I sit next to this old guy names Craig and we have a lot of good laughs in class. He's way behind and so he always gives me a hard time about being so fast. It's funny.

Did I mention that I've eaten foreign food for almost every meal? I've had sushi twice, Thai food yesterday, Italian on Monday night and Fudruckers (which is foreign to S. Arkansas) on Monday for lunch. GREAT GREAT GREAT! Tomorrow I'll probably get some BBQ or maybe Mexican (on my hour lunch) and then some Bdubs for dinner!!!! WOOHOO!!! Did I mention I am loving being here? I guess I am glad I don't live here because I would be broke. I show up to work at 8:45 and leave a little after 5. It's wonderful!

Then the first person I get to see when I step foot in Arkansas is...Vanessa!!! All this positive thinking is making me giddy. Okay, time for a shower and then I'll get up at 7ish, eat, work out and drive into work. Good, good times.

Oh wait...my classes.

Catching up on posts

The irony is that I am here typing this. I hate jealousy. I fight it and keep it away and then one little slip up and it rears its head again. I will fight it. If it means I will be taken advantage of, then so be it. I would rather play naïve than to ever fall into the cycle of guessing and asking questions and being worried. It’s just not worth it with her.

This week has been wild. A guy came in from Dallas and I stayed busy working with him. I’ve also started classes from 3:30-5:30 every Tuesday and Thursday and that is taking a small amount of time out of my week. I have a paper due Friday at 8pm, a test due by Saturday at 1pm and I am at V’s house, which doesn’t have ready access to the internet. I stayed at work Thursday until 7:45 and got home at 9ish. I stayed up late studying for my test and then took it Friday morning. It was a breeze. I then worked on my paper while on the road to V’s house and I submitted it at her dad’s office. It sucked. I worked on it all week and just could not get anything running.

I’ve got so much going right now it almost makes me sick. V has really been the light in the tunnel for me and even she sometimes worries me. I feel almost pathetic that I rely so much on her being around to make me happy. That and geocaching, which here lately has been rather lame. I can’t believe I even put her and geocaching in the same sentence. She hates it because she doesn’t understand that is what keeps me sane in Camden, when I have time to drift into being insane.
I am in Houston all week for training on a subject I actually enjoy: engineering design with pro-e. Fun times. I plan on catching up in my classes and doing a little bit of caching in a few of the nearby parks. Mostly just enjoying not being in Camden at work. 6am start day is starting to get real, real old.

I am super pumped about this weekend with V. We’re at her parents’ house and she’s always a lot more energetic and happy when she is here. It’s worth making a serious effort to stay in Arkansas to get chances to bring her home. We shall see. This place also has a bad vibe due to some other stuff, but I am repressing that; it’s not worth worrying/thinking about. I’m with her and I’m happy.

EDIT: September 27th.
I made it through the weekend and had a good time. I got my class stuff taken care of first thing and then enjoyed just hanging out with V and her family. They are so much fun. Her dad tells the best stories ever and it's funny seeing her dad and mom playfully jab each other. Makes me laugh just thinking about it. We all went to a wedding that was like 2 hours away and I was laughing (inside most of the time) almost the whole way there and back. The wedding was really sad. The whole ceremony only last five minutes and it was not set up real well. I felt sorry for the bride and groom, but maybe that is what they wanted. Who knows? I know they had some good food at the reception. Chocolate covered strawberries...yum.

Had some good catfish later too. Her parents take me out to eat almost every time I see them and I feel bad sometimes. I think I will send them a thank you card and some gift cards. Note to self: don't forget to do that. Spreaking of food, her mom cooked me something for almost every meal and man it was goooooood home cooking. They always eat well when I am there.

Being in the town that was so infamous to me was a challenge from time to time. Every place we went I wondered who... I repressed some thoughts going through my head and feel better for not bringing them up. If you're reading this, I am sorry for bringing up the stuff that I did and I am doing all I can to not ask questions. I know you're now dedicated...or committed... (That was a crazy joke.) I struggled with this same stuff with Megan and I feel stronger for surviving that. I am going to fight myself all the way to the end, whichever end that is.

Because of love.

I found God on the corner of 1st and Amistad...

Where were you when everything was falling apart?

Last Sunday, the 6th of September, at around 7pm. Enough said here. It was a hard time for me as the car I had picked out on the lot and saved all my money for was already sold when I got there.

Postsecrets still keep me thinking. We have so many secrets we can't even look at them all. So many, too many. Open up, we all have them. That is the beauty of the site; it makes us realize that we all have secrets and we are not alone with our thoughts. Many secrets we have that we don't even know are there. They slowly consume us.

I'm sorry if my post doesn't make much sense. I thought about just typing with a starting point and seeing where this blog goes. My life is crazy right now; I'm in Dallas at the end of the week. Huntsville, I hope, next week and Phoenix the next. In October I am driving to Nashville to see a concert and maybe a few Corvettes. I'll be 24; really an uneventful birthday to celebrate. That's about it. My whole room mate situation isn't too bad. He's relatively clean and the extra money each month helps a lot. This month I should finish up paying for my surgery and all that jazz. That will be a nice additional $300 a month or so. Good times. Classes are alright; I have about four weeks left in this semester and then I'll be down to four classes. Aced a paper last week that I found rather unimpressive; I hope I'm not lowering my standards to the point that engineering is going to kick my butt. We'll see I suppose.

Moving on...

I don't have time

I really don't have time to post, but since I need a shower and Chuck is in the bathroom, I will post an update on my life.

Work is going okay. I got in a little trouble for stating my opinion on a few things and standing up to some norms that are needing to be updated. It was not anything real serious, but enough to get to me. It's funny because I was slapped on the wrist for "having a problem with authority" which is funny because none of my managers, leads or co-workers have ever lead on to such a claim. Whatever; I know who it is saying these things and this group is very, very powerful so I will have to be careful.

Enough about that. I got assigned to a new special project, officially. I had been doing a lot of other work before but now I am really crazy busy. The good part is that I don't have to work on the production floor as much, which makes me happy. I spend quite a bit more time communicating with some pretty high up managers and today I even got to present some of my work to a director from Dallas. Woohoo! All my project work has been on paper until today; I got to see my canvas today and I will be getting to work really, really hard soon. That means, however, that I had to sacrifice my Boston trip. I am working on a trip to Phoenix now, but that is looking pretty remote too. As a last resort, I may be in Texas some where (probably Temple). Texas as a last resort, that's pretty good.

I am still trying to decide what my problem is. I just feel like this isn't the place for me, but I worry I might just always think the grass is greener on the other side and never find that grass. Most people who work here seem to be discontent, but no one ever does anything. I have one friend who is quite smart and he has worked at a few places and he loves it here. I am still trying to figure out what he loves- the company or the plant.

But anywho, I have really been looking at my options lately and I just don't know what I am going to do. I have talked to most of close family and some close friends at work and they seem to be split. I know one thing: I dislike very heavily Camden. However, there are some good opportunities here with people I don't want to hack off by going back to school. I can't really go to Dallas because then my relationship with V will really suffer (1.75 hours is too far, let alone 5). She's one of the few things I have left that can really make me smile.

My feet, back, legs hurt

What a vacation! I took off Thursday and Monday for a vacation with Vanessa. We had planned on going to Nashville, TN, but that fell through so we elected for a laid-back style of vacation. We decided on Thursday to go for a hike at Mount Magazine on their 9mi trail. That was one way, so we looked around and found a trail at Petite Jean that was a 12mi loop. We left Bryant at 6am and headed to Morrilton. It was an easy drive and we were there and on the trail by 8:30 or so. The start was a bit rough; Vanessa stepped down and was met with a rather short, fat rattler. For the next few hours we watched every step we took (especially V). The snake was not aggressive at all; it didn't act like it even noticed us. The first mile or three was really nice; there were all sorts of scenic views and a nice little waterfall. Unfortunately a majority of the other 10 miles were lame. The views were nonexistent and it was hot and humid.

We considered hitchhiking back a few times, but V kept me going and we stuck it out. I found like 10 geocaches on the way and those were fun, even though there weren't any trackables in the containers (weak sauce). A few of the caches had HORRIBLE coords but we came up with most of the finds. I did some climbing and scrambling and many times the cache was on the ground.

Work has been fast paced since I got back from New Mexico. I was appointed a chairperson of a group that is working a new set of launchers. Not too big a deal except that I was appointed by the program manager. I took it as a leap of faith, but then I have proven myself pretty valuable in my other work functions.

Last weekend I went to Fayetteville for a long weekend and man it was a good time. I went all over the place on Friday, including a new indoor park that has go-karts, bowling alleys, arcade and laser tag. We did all but the last one and I enjoyed it. We left around 1:30a and stayed in a hotel in Springdale (Jon P, Andrew and I). Saturday we went after a geocache that was up on a cliff in a cave. It was a blast hunting that one and I would post pictures, but they're not up yet. We found it and had a great time. Miranda and another co-op joined us for that one.

I talked to the ME graduate program on Friday and they'll pay me 1200 a month to be a graduate assistant, as well as pay for my tuition. I think if I can find another scholarship then I can most definitely swing that. There are only two things I am worried about: my house in Camden and my classes I am taking right now. If I quit Lockheed within a year of my classes, then I have to pay them back for the classes. I only need six more classes and I'll have my master's degree in Operations Management; I should graduate by Spring graduation. So if I go back to school next fall, I'll owe LH about $5k. If I start graduate school in the spring 2011, I'll owe them $1.7k. So it looks like spring may be the time to make my move. That will give me more time to pay for my house but surviving Camden for that much longer could be killer...we'll see.

Until then...geocaching.

I love low humidity

I love it, love it, love it! I went to New Mexico on the 13th and did some work out at White Sands Missile Range. For the first few days we didn't get much done, but eventually I had so much to do it was crazy. I even managed to put in some OT while out there. The building we worked in was a large shop and there was 0 air conditioning. One day we recorded a temperature approaching 100 degrees inside. We didn't sweat much, so I was fine with the hotness. On Saturday we went out to see the actual white sands and it was amazing! I posted the pictures on facebook if you want to see them. During the week and a half we were there, I took over 400 pictures. A few of the days it stormed and I got some sweet shots of that. You could seriously see the rain from miles and miles away. The lightning storms were SWEET!

Being out there really opened my eyes to how things are done other places. They didn't have nearly as many rules as we did but they still were safe and got stuff done. We really got close with some of the guys; they were super helpful and continually gave us advice on places to eat. Flying was fun too. Just being in the airport with my company laptop and slacks and polo made me feel super cool.

On to another topic-my life. I have to make some decisions. Camden is really getting to me. It was soooo tough to drive back from LR after we returned from NM. I am thinking that a year from now I may go back to Fayetteville and enroll in a master's degree program in mechanical engineering. I'm just not sure I can make it another year in Camden. Work isn't that bad, but living in that excuse for a town really gets to me. There's just not a large number of college graduates for me to hang out with. I have some great friends at church and even at work but that number is quite small. Work is much more miss than hit and that wears on me. It's hard to get up at 5am when you don't like your work.

I'll just have to wait and see. I know Vanessa really wants to stay in Arkansas, but I just don't see a lot of companies here that I would be interested in. I'm really wondering from time to time if work is even for me. I like the cutting edge stuff in college and learning new stuff all the time. I just don't know what would be the best fit for me. It's really frustrating, but I suppose I just need to let God have control.

In love with life

I'm not going to lie, I'm on a high right now. My a/c is being replaced and the guy working on it had one of his men go (almost) to the hospital due to heat stroke. I am not out some serious $$$ for the new system, but should save some of that back in utilities. I'm just glad I won't have to beat on my heater to get it to shut off. I'm off work tomorrow, which is great!!! I am going caching early in the morning and then traveling to see my girl and her family. Fun times are bound to happen.

Tonight at church, the class I am teaching got really good. We are discussing absolute truth and the lack thereof in the world. It's enlightening to see things clicking in people's minds. GREAT!!! I love it although I wish I knew more scripture and such. I have some great friends at church who go out to eat with me after class almost every Wednesday and that's been a blessing. Chuck is living in my spare bedroom now, so the extra income is a nice addition, although I will see a slight rise in utilities. As bad as it sounds, it's nice to have someone else struggle to get up in the morning and get going. We're pretty much silent on the way to work.

Life is a blessing. I feel honored to get to experience the things I get to experience. I went to the doctor on Monday to look at my knee and he told me to quit running and ice it more often. He also gave me a huge shot that hurt a lot. I then had dinner with Patrick at McDs and grabbed some geocaches. Good times!!!

Work is getting better. It has ups and downs, but I enjoy it somewhat. I am going to New Mexico in a week to look at some new work we're doing and I will be there for a week and a half. Then I am going to Boston in September for some training. Travel is here, woohoo!!!

Classes are almost wrapped up. Need to take both finals and study for my exemption test. Should be pretty simple; it's an accounting test and I have had two finance classes already. Easy, breezy.

Caught up

I am finally caught up in my classes!!! I am actually ahead. I only need to watch about 15 hours of videos and answer three more questions in my intro class and I will be finished until the final (with the exception of some self-tests and discussions). In my finance class, I just finished homework that is due next Tuesday and I am halfway done with homework due in two weeks. Just one homework left in there. Woohoo!!! I did a ton today once I got home including running for half an hour, mowing the yard, washing clothes and washing dishes. Good times being productive. I hope to finish up my class work tomorrow.

Vanessa and I can't deal with being apart for more than two weeks. After that time, we just argue a lot. When we're back together, it's all good. I found out last week that there's no chance of her going to school in Fayetteville. I had banked on that as being my "out" from here. I was going to go back to school and get a higher degree in Mechanical Engineering. Now I am not sure what I am going to do. She has to be in Little Rock at least two more years and then she has to stay in the state. I have thought about in two years going back to school in Fayetteville and then she can do her rotations up there for a year. I just don't know. I looked at the University of Texas at Arlington and they have an aerospace engineering master's nd ph.d program. That's appealing because Lockheed is there too (their Aero group is there).

Right now I am just not sure what God has in store for me. It's frustrating here because it seems like the social atmosphere is lacking (mostly because it is). I don't feel like a professional when I go to work, I don't feel like I am making an impact or doing anything really worthwhile. I am working my way into a manufacturing rut and I don't want to stay in that field. I want the ability to open my mind and be creative.

Enough of that. Geocaching is getting rough. It's been super hot here, so I am miserable out there caching. Plus there are some not nice things out there to sting me, bite me and irritate my skin. Ugh...looks like it's back to the 360. I haven't turned on my TV in something like three weeks.

busy busy busy

I am so ridiculously busy. Right now I am listening to my online class and doing this. I mainly post today to keep my blog updated.

Last weekend I went to Lake Ouachita with Bubba and his son to a geocaching event. We had a lot of fun, but didn't get nearly as many caches as I would have liked. We knocked out around 50 and met a ton of nice cachers. Left the house at 5am and got back around 1230 on Sunday morning. I wanted to sleep in, but I got elected to the communion on Sunday morning at college avenue. I showed up late to find out that the single's class is no more on Mondays. Weak sauce. This church is weird like that; it cancels the single's class on and off and that really bothers me. There are at least four members of the group that are there regularly, so there is a small need.

All this week was green belt training. Most of the training is old stuff I've heard before, but we did cover some neat new stuff. I enjoyed the break from the same ol' work but it was tough sitting through some of the teachers. I got to hang out with some cool young engineers and a lady from Dallas. She was super smart and I enjoyed speaking with her. Unfortunately, the class last until after 5 every day and my ME lead wanted me to come in at 6 every day too. That made for some looooonnnnnggggg days. Monday night Bubba and his family invited me out to eat some Chinese buffet. I should not have gone, since I was so busy, but I did and enjoyed myself. It was their anniversary and I was glad to see some marriages making it.

I am trying to get ahead in all my classes because I think I might get to go out to White Sands to work on some planning for a few days. I need to go, but mainly I just want to go. I think it will be helpful, but I am not sure how much it will help. I suppose I will see.

Classes are going okay. I have got to get far enough ahead in them to have time to study for my exemption test in Industrial Cost Analysis. Next semester I will only be taking one class, unless two just really stand out to me. After that, I will start looking for two classes to take each semester; I want to get out of this program....ugh.

A break...finally

I thought I was pretty busy in college, but let me tell ya what is on my right now. We're working extended hours at work (I worked 68 hours the week before last), I am taking two classes online right now (one of which is an intro class full of busy work), I am studying for one exemption test that has to be taken within the next seven weeks, I need to start studying for the GRE, I am teaching a class at chuch and I need to continue remodeling my house. Most every weekend I have stuff planned for the rest of the summer, so that's good but I have got to really step up my game. I am studying for my Bible class right now while waiting on my blackboard classes to get back online.

My grandpa, Big Pop, died two weeks ago Sunday. I was in Dallas all week for that stuff. It was a nice break, but I didn't get anything done. I did get some good time with my grandma, who is really struggling with the fact that she's getting older.

Life is good though. I am going to Riverfest this afternoon with V and her sister. It's been forever since I have seen her and I get to spend next weekend with her too going to Fayetteville for Robert's wedding. Woohoo! We need some time together, especially since she's not stressed out with pharm school.

Just keeping you updated. That's pretty much all going on in my life.

good golly

So we're working 4-12's now, which means I work 12.5 hours a day (Monday through Thursday) and then we're working 10 hours on Friday, Saturday and maybe Sunday. I won't lie that I am looking forward to the money, but we start work at 5am, which means I am in bed by 830 and up around 4. It's killing me. I can feel myself slowly slipping further and further behind. I want to study for my exemption test, I want to read my new car magazines, I really want to geocache and I want to sleep sleep sleep. Oh well, it'll all be good in the end. I am getting a ton of stuff done while at work. I've single-handedly written 60% of the work instructions for a new truck we're getting and I've been taking on some sweet projects. Not much time at work, which is a great thing.

I talked to a guy tonight about cars and it really made me want to go work on mine. I have some things I need to do, but need the tools and time to work on it. I suppose that time will come...eventually. Did I mention i am looking forward to the bank coming in from all this OT? Oh yeah, I can pay off my medical bills. Woohoo!

This new guy from up north is pushing me on the co-op group here in Camden. We're having fun planning trips and such and I look forward to working with the guy. His office is in admin building, so it's nice to finally have a legitimate in-man for the big leagues. Good times in corporate America!

Good night.

It's tough, but God knows that

She just left. A piece of my heart breaks off everytime we have to part company. She showed up and walked through my door just a little over 4 days ago and we set out on an adventure. We hastily loaded up and started driving to Vicksburg, MS. On the way, we grabbed a cache I had been hunting for a while. We stopped at McDonalds and had lunch and she sat inside while I talked with my career coach in the car. No complaints from her. We got to Vicksburg and my hotel was not where it was supposed to be. Thanks to great dad, we made our way to where our hotel was located. When we got there we were exhausted so we chilled in the awesome hotel room for a few minutes before we headed off to the Military park. We got to the welcome center just in time to catch the last few minutes of the 1960s movie about park's history. We then drove through the lower half of the park and headed to the hotel room. We went out and I found some more caches while also looking for a pizza joint. We grabbed some grub and drinks and headed to the room to crash.

Thursday we got up early and drove to Jackson to the zoo. It was packed with kids. There were easily 20 buses there and most of the kiddoes were under 10. Fun times! We did get some of those super tasty Krystal burgers, though. On the way out of town, we stopped by a place that used to be a POW for German soldiers. It was all overgrown, but still kinda cool. I found two caches there. :) When we got back to Vicksburg, we went to the Coca-Cola museum and visited a really old pharmacy. It was neat, although both need some work. While we were downtown, all these cops and other emergency vehicles went by. We just figured someone fell in the river. We found out later that they had found a car in the river with a body inside. We totally missed the action. We went down to the old court house too, it was about to close but we did get to look it over quickly. Ice cream was on tap for dinner Thursday and we went swimming in this cool little indoor/outdoor pool. It was warmer than the hot tub and a great time.

Friday morning we got up late and finished the Military park. I had heard of a cool waterfall in the woods, so we hiked there. It was crazy!! The "trail" leading to it was a goat trail at best and V fell once and I nearly died. She grabbed a tree on her way down and it probably saved her from some serious injuries. Once at the waterfall, she nearly put her hand on a snake. The waterfall was lame. On the way out of town, we visited the Confederate cemetery (which is outside the park, only Union soldiers are inside). We also went by the remains of a canal that Grant had tried to dig during the Vicksburg siege.

Saturday we worked in the yard all day. V is a real trooper and she raked leaves for like five hours. We went to a SWEET little bar in Eldo that night and heard a band called PAIL play. I would rec commend them; they rock. We got home at 1. This morning was tough, but we made it to class at church and I introduced her to all my friends there. They all seemed to like her. I figured they would. :)

We came home to nap and now she's gone. My wonderful spring break is coming to an end and the love of my life is now heading to her place in Bryant. Everytime she leaves, a piece of my heart breaks off. It's bleeding now.

Everybody's working for the weekend

Man work has been wild lately. Some days I am totally busy for the entire 10+ hours I am there and other days I seriously scrape the bottom for stuff to do. Wednesday night I had dinner with the colonel and some big shots in the HIMARS program from Dallas and Huntsville. The meal was amazing!! The food was killer and I had a great time just shooting the bull with some big shots. On Thursday I got to sit in on a quarterly management review (QMR) that was really cool too. The whole thing almost convinced me that I really might enjoy this job.

I finally got to see V yesterday. It was the first time I had seen her in over three weeks, so I was pretty pumped. I caught myself going 10 or 15 over the speed limit on the way here. Today we went out to a cool little joint downtown to eat some sushi. It was quite stellar, but not worth dealing with going downtown. The weather was great, though, and walking around was fun. I hear the nice weather is gone for a little while. ugh.

I made spring break plans with V today. We are going to visit Vicksburg, Mississippi and hit up all the Civil war stuff there. I am pretty excited about the fact that it is only 4 hours from my house. I will probably go geocaching while I am there and we might even go to Jackson to drop off my Capital geocoin. Woohoo!

So the leg isn't really coming along as well as I had planned. It is still somewhat sloppy and has been driving me nuts here lately. It popped to the side a little bit yesterday at work. I don't know what the issue is.

I don't ever want to grow up

I went to see my grandpa in Dallas this weekend. He is in the nursing home now and they feed him through tubes into his stomach. I had been told we wouldn't understand him and that he was in really bad shape. Well, he wasn't either of those. We understood him just fine and shared quite a few laughs with him. It's amazing how thin he is now that he doesn't eat anything. Being in the nursing home really make me think about my life. It really isn't fair. We learn so much, save money, make relationships and then bam-o we're stuck in an aging body clinging onto our lives. I made a commitment to myself to continue working out and making sure I am healthy. Just parking out a few extra spots from walmart or taking the stairs instead of the elevator can make a difference, but I do not want to just stop at that. But back to my grandpa; he kept talking about how most people hate being in the nursing home and how all the old people want to leave, but he was content. He said that God puts us where we can make a difference and that God has put him there to change lives. It's amazing to hear this coming from a guy with a feeding tube sitting in a wheelchair.

My grandpa reminded me to enjoy the little things. He couldn't eat or drink anything due to not being able to swallow and he said over and over how much he missed tasting things and chewing things (at which point he would chomp his dentures together). He was starting to swallow better, so we gave him some coca-cola. He LOVED it and shortly after started twitching in his legs. It was so funny. He would look at his legs and say "what do you suppose is causing them to do that?" We would laugh and tell him that not having a coke for a few weeks and then getting all that caffeine at once was doing it. He didn't care and he took some more sips of coke. To tell you the good spirits he was in, let me tell you about when we first came in with the coke. He just looked at it and licked his lips over and over and when dad finally asked him if he wanted some, my grandpa nearly jumped out of his chair with a "yes!" We gave him a real small amount in a cup and he took it, looked at it and said "awfully generous of you" with sarcasm in his voice. We told him that we wanted to make sure he could drink it okay, and he needed to drink it slowly. He downed it like an alcoholic downs a shot of something. He did that for a few more glasses and then we quit. He was sooooo funny, you can't even imagine it. He has a wise crack to every person he passes and he flirts with all the ladies.

Anywho, other than going to see my grandpa with my family this weekend, I have not been up to a whole lot. Last weekend a few of us went to LR and got a hotel to see Watchmen in IMAX. I liked it, but wish it didn't have all the crap that it did to keep the audience in it more. oh well. V joined us for dinner beforehand and the movie and then on Saturday for some mall time. It was a good weekend. BTW, there was a car show downtown on the river and that was SWEET! Super nice Corvettes and GTOs and such.

I just finished up my first homework assignment for my second class since starting this masters program. I need to start working on studying some for the GRE and my exemption tests. Woowee! I passed my last class only missing 2 points overall, so I think I am going to throttle back a little for this class. Spend a little more of my time doing what I want to do, which probably means I will still spend as much time on this as usual, just less time reading it. Eh, I will get through it.

No word on going back to Faytown fall 2010 for a MSME degree. I want to, but really it depends on V's plans. I hope it works out, I am already excited about that possibility.

Have a GREAT week!

I made it!!

I made it through surgery fine. It turns out that my ACL was stretched but not torn and so the doctor left it. He said that it was starting to tighten back up and I can tell. He did clean out some scar tissue and some torn meniscus. I actually got up and walked out of the office and it wasn't too bad, until the pain medicine in my knee wore off. Then it was not quite as much fun. I can walk and all, but I do have a bit of a limp. I am strengthening my knee through some workouts, and I can tell it is getting better. I am going to start therapy this week.

On the non-surgery side, I went geocaching again yesterday. I hit up three different caches. One was right near the Krispy Kreme, which made things interesting. Caches in Little Rock are tough because of all the people nearby, so I have to be extra careful. V is going home this weekend and I am staying around to meet up with the RFCs for Spring Retreat, so I am going to go caching again today once V leaves. There's apparently a huge park in the middle of Little Rock with a few caches that I am going to knock out. I hope to find another geocoin. What's a geocoin you ask? Well I will attach a picture. This one will be hard to let go of; it's a cool little German coin. I found it near the Game and Fish Commission. Their building is really cool; it looks brand new.

Going under...one last (hopefully) time

So I have a torn meniscus in the back of my knee and my ACL is critically weakened. The doctor is going in orthoscopically tomorrow to repair the meniscus and check the ACL with surgery on it if needed.

So this weekend I am enjoying the ability to walk and enjoying it with Vanessa. It is Valentine's day weekend and all. We didn't do anything real special, just investigated some sports store sales and made sushi and went to this trendy restaurant in West Little Rock. We got some killer stuff at the stores, including but not limited to: ski pants, ski goggles, and some thermals. We also managed to find some nice sandals for cheap.

So yeah, that pretty much sums up my life right now. I worked for the last two weeks and got quite a bit done, even though it was painful at times. Work went really well; I stayed really busy.

So this will be the last post for a little bit, until I can get back up and moving and find some firewall-free internet.

Big Day Tomorrow

So I go in for another xray tomorrow. If it looks good, the doc is going to let me start putting weight on it. This leg will be shocked to know that it will be getting the full weight, but rather a 15lbs less weight. Apparently all those days of not eating much has finally caught up to me. I am shooting for 175 or less when it's all over, but I figure once I start building leg mass again, that will change.

I'm worried about the news for a couple of reasons. 1) if it's not healing, I might have another surgery. That means more money and time gone for me. 2) If it is healed enough to walk, when should I try to go back to work. I feel horrible for missing so much, but I move around a lot and don't want to be at work with crutches and such. 3) I am worried that the doc is only looking at the bones and not other stuff. By other stuff I mean my muscles and tendons. A bone break does not cause your leg to pop sideways. Maybe it was just the trauma of it all. Regardless, I am a bit worried about it all. I am sure it will all be okay though.

Being back at my house reminds me of the real world. My heater is jacked up, my house gets cold easily and I can't figure out why. I think it is insulated well, but I don't know. Needless to say, once I recover financially from the hospital, I need to insulate my place better or do something.

*edit* I found out today that my ACL is possible torn. I go in for a MRI on Thursday and a doctor visit on the following Monday. If I do have a torn ACl, then I will be going under for an outpatient surgery. That'll put me out of work for another two weeks after the surgery. But, to counter this possibility, I am going in to work this week and next (hopefully). If I do need surgery, I am planning on putting it off for a week so I can get in more work time. We're starting a new project and I super pumped about working on it. I did a lot of prep work for it and I am hoping to see the fruits of my labor.

An update, with graphic pictures

So I went to the Doc's last Monday and apparently I have micro-fractures in my Tibia with a bone contusion somewhere in my knee as well. I am ordered to put zero weight on it until he can xray it again at the end of the month. That's really the news I have. My cuts are healing nicely and since so many people seemed interested in seeing the graphic shots of my leg cut open, I am posting them on here with pictures of my healing leg.

Work has been more than I could ask for. I am on short term disability until at least Feb 2nd at which point I have to decide if I can go in or not. I do so much moving around at work, I don't know if I will be up to it by then, but I am hoping. My biggest fear is all this being held against me in the future. I have plans for a spring break during the beginning of April, so I am hoping I can still use vacation on those days.

Anywho, here are my pictures. I will put the most recent ones first and the pictures of when my leg was cut open and left open last. They're pretty gruesome. The little white things are not drainage hoses, but rather rubber band-like strings actually holding my skin together.